If someone spends two days of their life cleaning a room, dealing with mess YOU couldn't be bothered to sort out and scrubbing catfood off the floor, a thank you is probably in order.
The denim book:
I continue my stalkerish tendencies and plan a murder.
The first few pages are just lists and mentalness. They sum up my 11 yr old self pretty perfectly!
Stuff I like!
Top Ten books (not in order):
1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (+1,2&3 Harrys)
2. Girls in Love
3. Pig Heart Boy
4. The Ruby in the Smoke
5. Are you there, God? It's Me, Margaret. [That's a lot of punctuation for a title]
6. Scribble Boy
7. The Lottie Project
8. Northern Lights
9. Pride and Prejudice
10. Sense and Sensibility
Desert Island Stuff:
2. Private Writing boook
3. Nice pens
4. Unlimited supply of stationary
5. My CDs and Harry Potter tapes
6. My books
7. A stereo
8. My Clothes
9. My bed
10. A canopy
(people: <3 X <3, Mum, Dad, Sam, Robbie and Granny... Jesse Spencer, Hunky Boy [no idea who this is], Prince William, Prince Harry, Aoife, Frances, Issi, Jenny and Nats)
[I really didn't get the point of desert island lists...]
I want to be a HIPPIE
I want to be a hippie and wear hippie clothes
I want to be a hippie and drive a hippie van
(+ take LSD)
17th October 2000
I have once dreamt about <3 X <3!
Tomorrow we are going to Warwick Castle for our history field trip and we can wear whatever we want! I'm wearing my cream trousers with flowers and I'm not sure what top.
Robbie is so sweet and I've held him loads of times! Me and Issi went to the library today and we are going Christmas shopping together in town.
X is GORGEOUS
X is a form captain and in the choir and his brother is head boy [I literally have NO IDEA where I got this info from! STALKER STALKER]
It's getting sad now, I'm so desperate to go shopping that I even dream about it! I didn't get up today until 7.25 am and met Issi at 7.58 am! [I am ashamed to admit that made Issi late for school every single day.] I spent 33 mins getting ready.
Today Jenny said there was a rehearsal for the people who are in the chorus for Oliver [that year's joint school production between the girls' school and boys' school] I got Issi to pop to our house on the way home and tell mum where I was. But when I went to find out where it was [our music teacher] came out and told me nothing was happening. I found Issi in Smiths.
I want to be ill tomorrow: R.E., Tech., Science, ART!
[R.E was with a crazy guy who wore pullovers, Tech was with a guy who had halitosis, Science was with a completely bonkers teacher (who was later sacked for drinking during lessons) and Art was with a teacher so airy fairy and favouritist that Issi once had her hand up for a whole lesson and was completely ignored]
20th October 2000
Apparently Sonia in Eastenders is going to have a baby (character not actor).[Little did I know how this storyline would haunt me!] We (me+mum+granny+Robbie) are going to go shopping for clothes for me. I want jeans, nice top, trainers, chopsticks (for hair) etc. [CHOPSTICKS FOR HAIR!]
21st October 2000
Stageschool was alright. We went to Abingdon and I had a look in New Look and bought some chopsticks (glittery ones!) and had a look at some jeans (some completely covered my shoes!)
I've got tomorrow planned out: Lie in, have breakfast, wash hair, get dressed, have lunch, fold futon, read/listen to Harry, see Granny, see Robbie, hang/read/listen to Harry. I really want a top with flared sleeves!
[there are a couple of brownish smudges] -my blood!
22nd October 2000
Me&mum&granny have this long running conversation about how a victorian woman would do away with her horrible husband. I am going to write this version:
Elizabeth Blake marries Jonas Slater. She has money which he marries her for. He gambles and drinks away all her money (inherited from father). One night he is out getting drunk so she climbs out of a window wearing the cook's meat cutting apron and carrying the sharpest knife. She stabs him, puts the knife and apron away and goes to sleep. [charming]
26th October 2000
The Health Visitor came and she was extraordinarily pretty. Sam told her to go away.
In Eastenders Sonia had her babe. Well I saw the beginning but mum made me turn it off because it was "too heavy". Mo came to see what all the noises were (screams and shouts) and she called an ambulance etc.
We went out for lunch and Sam actually ate his.
nothing to say
P+L+H [peace +love+happiness]
27th October 2000
I have at least got a tipp-ex pocket mouse. I don't think, once I've trained myself to use it, that I will ever go anywhere without it! I love it!!!
I love Jesse Spencer and X! X is (I hope) going to be in the chorus for Oliver (like me)
28th October 2000
Last night mum dreamt that I had a baby! Guess who the father was... X! I actually got to watch Live and Kicking because there was not stageschool!
31st October 2000
On sunday we went out for lunch. I had roast beef and yorkshire pudding and summer pudding with clotted cream
(Mum and Dad now owe me £46)
I saw X today so I got off my bike and took off my helmet (so I didn't look completely stupid) of course he then turned off and went another way. But hey!
I continue to be boy-crazy and see Philip Pullman!
2nd November 2000
Diary Dear Diary,
We talked to N on the way home and she told us about her experiences- baths with boys and kisses. [all of these happened when she was a child]. She fancies X! And now wants my lilac pen because he wrote with it! (But I want it! It's mine and I fancy him!)
9th November 2000
School=boring! Watched Byker Grove. Nothing much happened today!
We played consequences. This was mine:
Frances S. and
Sunday 18th December 200?
They didn't tell their parents
I wore the consequences in my bra all day.[BAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA] N says she never liked X. I do. I LOVE him. I wish I could tell someone.
14th November 2000
Today me and mum went to see Philip Pullman. We saw Mrs North and her daughter. He read some of his book and talked/explained stuff. He said that about 10 years ago he went to the zoo and saw a GIbbon grab this bird and kill it (not nastily, just because it was curious)
[ bad drawing of a gibbon with an EXTREMELY long arm]
Then when he was writing the Amber Spyglass he wrote about this episode without realising he was doing it. He also says that you need to think by sitting and twanging rulers, flicking rubber bands, drawing round your hands and swinging in your chair.
Oliver practice today. I saw X and made eye-contact TWO TIMES!
p.s. The people who looked at our house liked my room!
23rd November 2000
Since I last wrote we were given a Bible by the Giddeons.
N told me that if I go out with X she'll never speak to me again. I will never speak to her if she goes out with him. The former suits me fine!
27th December 2000
2. Hunky Boy
3. Prince William
4. Jesse Spencer
5. Mr Darcy
30th December 2000
I don't know if I've already said but my hubby (Jesse Spencer) has appeared in a tv show called Lorna Doone. He is a baddy and got killed!
The funeral will be held on _______ of January 2001!
[cartoon strip drawings of the character's death]
13 February 2001
On saturday I went shopping and I got...
Jeans from TAMMY with really wide flares!
Purple flower hair bands
Smiley face pen
Good Friday 2001
Dear Nancy, [not sure why I am now calling my diary Nancy...]
I'm sat in the living room not talking to anyone, seeing if I am going to have any notice taken of me. If anyone does speak to me it'll probably be to make me do something (well last time it was to make me draw the curtains). Desperately want to see Bridget Jones' Diary it's so unfair under 15s can't see it.
I quite enjoying sitting here having no communication with the outside world. Granny is being soooooooo annoying she was criticising Emma Bunton for looking common. She can be so old fashioned at times e.g. when we were with Auntie Barbara they were saying stuff like "the youth of today are so easily led..." etc.
They want to go to town tomorrow. I think that spells B-R-A M-E-A-S-U-R-I-N-G! YIKES!
no one has spoken to me yet. This is actually quite funny!
WHY DO WE HAVE BREASTS?
I mean, ofcourse I know why but ARGHGHGHGH
[seem to have given up with dates]
I am writing a book about a girl who runs a private detective agency.
NO I'm not! That sounds sooo sad.
WE ARE MEANT TO BE DOING SPANISH BUT I AM SOOOOOOOOOO BORED!
I'm going to write my next novel here because this notebook is a nice size.
"Coleman is becoming stricter, now he is suggesting the population is like dogs." Helen was telling us all the information she had found out, "he is saying that there are pure breed people and there are mongrel people."
Helen looked at our shocked faces "there's more, he is saying that the 'mongrels' are alright as long as the runts are drowned"
Dad is outraged.
25th June 2001
[I have abandoned the novel]
Laura has lent me Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging and it's hilarious!
I had a v.good day dream: me& X met as I crossed the road- he sexy as ever me with my hair in bunches (cute not britney), long really nice coat, school skirt and really nice bag - [picture of a panda bag that I was obsessed with]. We walk along and laugh lots and then he asks me out. We eat love hearts, lie on the grass and watch clouds and then, of course , WE KISS!
I want a boyf. time - 10.17pm
19th June 2001 INSET DAY
Frances came round and we went to our primary school summer fete. R.R. voice has broken! he used to have a very small, soft, maybe slightly welsh, voice. We were talking to Mrs N who said that J.M.'s voice has broken! (he is 11 yrs old!). We saw J.O. and got him wet by throwing sponges at him. (his voice is breaking too!)
Laura won some Bucks Fizz and Mrs H let us have it! We went all the way home without being seen by the police! After Laura won it we showed it to Mrs N and she suggested we go and drink it in the park! Laura gave it to her mum as a present.
X wasn't there (sob sob). C.W. was there and he is STILL tiny we asked him why he hasn't grown yet! he told us to piss off. A.S. was there but we couldn't think of anything to say to him. C.W went on the bouncy castle and I named him Chris the thrill-seeking hamster. [HOW CRUEL!]
I am beginning to fancy J.F.S. (scary, huh??) but I think (hope) he likes me too. X is still my ultimate goal.
30th June 2001
12.05amI WANT TO BE IN LOVE. I NEED TO BE IN LOVE!
Everyone was staring at my boobs! God it was embarrassing.
I'm watching the repeat of last night's Big Brother. Bubble was evicted (booo) and he has got has got his leg over 100 women! BLOODY HELL! [I have no words to describe the noise I made on reading this]
Things I'm obsessed with:
2. Voices breaking
1st July 2001
When I am 18 I will:
1. Go to Glastonbury
2. Go to Australia
3. Have sex with 10 men
4. Speak to X
5. Leave home.
Remember my post about Mormon housewife blogs a few weeks back?
I have a new blog Love: Dear Baby. Yes, it is a blog written by a mother/expectant mother. Yes, I am a little crazy.
Like the Mormon housewife blogs, reading blogs about young, creative interesting people with seriously cute babies makes me happy. I can't help it. I think it's seeing people who are extremely happy: happily married, having babies, and with interesting, creative jobs. It is comforting to think that I might manage to have a proper life at some point, that there will be an end to this horrid limbo I'm living in.